Ban Censorship

This isn't really a censorship issue, but whatever. This was supposed to be a commercial broadcast during the Super Bowl this year, but someone at either the NFL or FOX that it was a bad idea. I personally think this commercial is hilarious. It doesn't contain vulgar language or inappropriate content. It implies things. And if you know what it implies, and you don't laugh, then fuck you too.

Who's on your Mt. Rapmore?

Recently, I was reading the most recent Sports Guy Bill Simmons' mailbag. Among other questions about Roger Clemens being a lying, cheating piece of shit and questions about the Patriots being choke artists, Adam in Hillsville, VA. submitted the following question:

"If they were going to construct the Mount Rushmore of the rap industry, who would the four members be? Keep in mind that it is the four most influential people to the history of the industry, not necessarily the four best rappers."

Bill Simmons responded by saying that Tupac, Dr. Dre, Jay-Z and Notorious BIG would be on "Mt. Rapmore." He says Tupac was the rawest, Dr. Dre helped form West Coast rap and found some of the best rappers. Jay made the most money and is an icon. He threw Notorious up there because "you can't have a Mount Rapmore with Tupac and not Biggie when those guys are so intertwined historically."

So, my question to you is who would you put on your Mt. Rapmore? Bill Simmons did not put groups on there, but I think you need to allow them. I think it is an incomplete list if you just put individual people on there.

I would agree that Jay-Z needs to be on this list. I think by far he helped ligitimize East Coast rap. He also is extremely influential in the Hip-Hop fashion world. He owns/runs one of the largest Hip-Hop record labels and one of the largest clothing labels.

My second rap face would be NWA. They solidified West Coast Gangsta rap. They were really the "World's Most Dangerous Group." Two founding members, Ice Cube and Dr. Dre went to have huge solo careers. Dr. Dre was so influential to other rappers including Eminem and 50 Cent.

I would put Russell Simmons on the list. He is not a rapper, but he is Hip-Hop. He was co-founder of Def Jam Records along with Rick Rubin. Rubin went on to work with tons of groups, some hip-hop, some not. Simmons was key in putting Hip-Hop on the map with contributions in the music and fashion.

The fourth face was difficult to select. I am going to go with the Beastie Boys. They are one of my all-time favorites. They were the first "white kids" to sing "black music." They also brought Hip-Hop from the streets to the party scene. These 3 kids from Brooklyn did it all in there early days from touring with Madonna to playing concert with a giant inflatable penis on the stage. And if that doesn't get you on Mt. Rapmore, I don't know what does.

PS: If you had asked me to bet my life savings on how many faces are on Mt. Rushmore, I would've said 5 without a doubt. I'm such an idiot.

Beano loves Baseball

Meet Beano Cook, the Godfather of College Football. There is many things he loves, Notre Dame, Pittsburgh, Tomato soup to name a few. However, baseball is not one of them. Beano hates the fact that baseball is such a long season, and he also hates hearing about it in the offseason. I remember when Beano was on a radio show every Thursday, and he would name off the number off days til pitchers and catchers report, and he would claim this is the day hell freezes over. Good stuff. I think ESPN might be on to something here with "Cookin' with Beano." If you ask me, the more Beano airtime, the better for everyone.

I do love Beano Cook, but I don't always agree with him. I didn't agree when he said Ron Paulus would win 2 Heismann's, and I don't agree with his hatred for baseball. I am very excited that pitchers and catchers reported over the weekend. I had some friends visiting from out of town, and I didn't get to a computer at all other than to spit my lyrics in the SeaLab for the new Jeejumcry album. I was pretty much in a drunken haze all weekend.

So, imagine my suprise when I hopped on my computer Sunday night to find out that Yovani Gallardo tore a cartilage in his knee. He is supposed to miss 3-4 weeks after having the knee surgery this morning. Brewers' Assistant GM and Medical Director seems optamistic.

"I don't think it's common, but it is an athletic injury and it is a relatively routine procedure and routine recovery time," said Ash, who heads the organization's medical program. "As with any medical condition, everybody is different, but we're guessing right now that, depending on how he handles the surgery and how much swelling there is, that he should be back participating in a month.

On other Brewers' news, JJ Hardy reached a deal with the Brewers avoiding arbitration. I think this is a fair deal. Hardy had a great first half last year and reached the All-Star Game. I think if Hardy duplicates his first half performance from last year, $2.65 million would be bargain price for him.

Things have been great for the new Brewers. Mike Cameron was happy to see the excitement in the clubhouse. He participated in working out when he was planning on sitting out on the optional days. Eric Gagne even apologized to the Brewers for, well, um, nothing. He said he was sorry to the team, his family and fans. But, he didn't specify what he was sorry for. He should apologize for being a stupid Canadian. Like Bryan Adams.

Officer Leroy said "Hey, I thought I told you..." And I was like "Yeah, Whatever...."

This police officer clearly has many issues he needs to deal with. This police officer clearly has what is called a superiority complex. Except, he is attacking children in this video. This kid should've taken a page out of his friends book, and just shut up though. This video was shot in Baltimore, a city known to have more police corruption than just about any other city in our nation. I think the cop is really pissed off that he has to cruise around in that weak ass car working the skater patrol. Also, it probably doesn't help his temper that he has to wear that piss colored uniform. He is basically a parking attendant, except with no ticket book. So, instead he just throws teenagers in headlocks and "gives them the business." I wonder what this cop would do if he saw a child flying around the Inner Harbor on Heelies. Throw a stick down? Clothesline?

Fergie Can Spell!!!!

Fergie knows how to spell. This comes as no suprise to me because almost every one of her songs has some sort of spelling in it. Mysteriously, in this competition, all of the words end in "ous." She even tries to fight one of the judges after she quesions the fairness of this competition. If you ask me, Fergie has come a long way since this.

Shotgun!!!

Lately, there has been some discussion about what the official rules for calling shotgun are. Koz, Bryan and myself decided to set these one day while eating brunch. We were very hungover this particular day, as it was a Sunday. Well, these are the rules we came up with (feel free to make suggestions in the comments if you'd like):

1. You must be outside to call shotgun. You don't have to see the car, but you must be outside. Outside an apartment, in the hallway but still in the building does not count.
2. If traveling for one hour or longer, same rider may not have consecutive shotguns.
3. When traveling long distances, shotgun is fair game after short stops, i.e. gas, food, firework or adult establishments.
4. When traveling on long trips, person sitting shotgun may not fall asleep under any circumstances and must act as navigator if necessary. Person riding shotgun is in charge of music, unless the driver has a request.
5. In the occasion that road sodas are being drank, person in shotgun is in charge of mixing and pouring of the liquids.

Don't Wack Our Weiners!!!

For those of you who know me, you know that baseball is my favorite sport. With pitchers and catchers reporting this week, I will post a Brewers preview later on in the week. But for now, I thought I would post something fun to get everyone ready for the baseball season.

So, these are the Klement's Racing Sausages. I figured I would review the seasons they had last year, and make a prediction for the finishing order this year. These stats are pulled directly from the Brewers web site to ensure accuracy. The standings are based upon the number of first place finishes from the 2007 MLB season. The Racing Sausages have become one of the most fun things about attending a game at Miller Park. They race after the bottom of the sixth inning and they start near the third base dugout and race around behind home plate and they run past the Brewers dug out on the first base side. Back in 2003, in an attempted prank, Randall Simon of the Pittsburgh Pirates took a bat and hit the Italian Sausage in the head. The poor sausage went down and took the Hot Dog down with her. Apparently, Simon didn't know what happens when you attack an Italian, and he is now swimming with the fishes in the bottom of Lake Michigan.

Finishing in first place 23 times last year was the Hot Dog, or Frankie Furter as his friends call him. He is the favorite of my friend Bryan. The Hot Dog of course has an advantage because he is the lightest of the sausages. I predict he will have a strong season again, but I don't see him repeating. I predict a second place finish in the final standings for Frankie Furter.

The Polish Sausage won 20 races last year. This sausage was given the birth name of Stosh. I think this sausage will finish fourth place in the final standings.

The rookie sausage last year was the Chorizo which is a Mexican sausage for those of you not familiar. The Chorizo, who also goes by Cinco, had an excellent rookie year finishing with 16 first place finishes. He had an excellent rookie year finishing in third place in the middle of the pack. I see him hitting a sophmore slump this year, and finishing in fifth place in the standings. His name coincidently happens to mean five when translated to Spanish in case you where wondering where I got this prediction from.

Finishing the 2007 season with 14 first place finishes was the Italian Sausage. This sausage donned in a Chef's outfit goes by the name of Guido. This is my favorite of the sausages because of my strong Italian background. I really think that Guido will bounce back this year after a poor performance last year and I think he will have the most first place finishes in 2008.

The last of the sausages is the Bratwurst. On the street, this sausage is called Brett Wurst. He finished with a measly 10 first place finishes in 2007. After seeing the Bratwurst's offseason training regimen, I think he will improve on his standings and finish with the third most first place finishes in 2008.

Update 2008

I created this blog in December of 2005 as you can see by the dates of the original post. And then, by 2006, I think I forgot it existed. I previously stumbled upon this and remember all the things I thought would be cool to do with this. So, I have much more free time on my hands these days, so I will be updating this periodically with stories and other things I find interesting. Oh, and by the way, I'm not a great writer, so if you're looking to read well written stories and essays, you may want to venture elsewhere. And if you want something linked to, just let me know.